Lena Aburaad interview, 22 March 2017

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:00:00] Okay, today is March 22. With us, Abedelraman Tayyara. With us, Lina Abu raid. And I would like to start asking you to introduce yourself. Who are you?

Lena Aburaad [00:00:18] Okay. I am Lena Aburaad. Originally I am from Palestine. I lived in Amman, Jordan. Then I grew up in the United Arab Emirates, and now I am an Arabic instructor at CSU.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:00:36] Okay, can you tell me about your family? Kids?

Lena Aburaad [00:00:45] Okay. I have four kids. I came to the US in 1992. I have two boys, two girls. They're all at college at this time. And they are Arab American, speaking more English than Arabic. But they do understand Arabic, and they speak some Arabic.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:01:09] So you said you grew up in Palestine?

Lena Aburaad [00:01:12] No, I grew up in Jordan.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:01:13] Oman. Jordan. So can you, like, tell us about, you know, how life looked like, you know, when you grew up in a man?

Lena Aburaad [00:01:24] When I was a kid in the seventies, a man seems united, like all people are similar. It was safe. I remember walking to school long distance, like I was in first and second and third grade. I was in a private school, so I used the bus. Then my parents sent me to a public school. I used to work like half an hour every day. There is a sense of unity and a sense of safety. I don't think Amman is the same Amman I've known in the seventies. It's not the same.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:02:03] So it was better than today?

Lena Aburaad [00:02:05] Yeah. I felt we all alike in the seventies. When I was a kid, I sensed that. But nowadays I feel it's different, maybe because of all what's happening in the Middle east. There's more people into Jordan after the Gulf war. We have more people coming, different people. So I don't feel the same unity or the same safety as before.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:02:35] So how many brothers and sisters do you have?

Lena Aburaad [00:02:38] I have a lot of brothers and sisters. We are a family of nine. We're five sisters, four brothers. I am the oldest, so I always was special in my family.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:02:50] And all of them, they live in United States?

Lena Aburaad [00:02:54] No, my brothers, all of them live in Jordan. I have one sister in Michigan and the rest of them in Amman.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:03:05] So you said also you lived in United Arab Emirates also.

Lena Aburaad [00:03:10] How many years I live in United Arab Emirates? Since 7th grade until. Until I have my first child. I had my first child, yeah.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:03:22] So why you lived there?

Lena Aburaad [00:03:24] With my father. He was one of the people that started the newspaper called Al Bayan in Jordan. In Dubai. Sorry, in Dubai. So he went there?

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:03:40] Yeah. So he was a journalist or he was like.

Lena Aburaad [00:03:49] One of the founders of Jerry Dat Albayan in Dubai. So he went to work there and we moved to Dubai.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:03:59] And so you came here in 1992 to the States? Yes. And so when you came to Cleveland.

Lena Aburaad [00:04:10] So we are Jordanians who lived in the Gulf, and at that time, Saddam, invader e Kuwait, and King Hussein, he was one of the supporters of Saddam. So as the process, they cancelled all our, like, work contracts because we're Jordanians or Palestinians. So my brother in law lived in Ohio, so we came here and we started the process of becoming permanent residents of Ohio.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:04:47] Okay, and he lives in Cleveland?

Lena Aburaad [00:04:50] Yes, he lived in Cleveland. He came here to study in the eighties and he stayed here.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:04:56] Okay. And so at home, you speak mostly in Arabic or in English?

Lena Aburaad [00:05:06] Yes, I speak Arabic, and I know that. Arabic, English, they gonna. My kids English, it's gonna. They're gonna learn it whether I like it or not, because they go to school, they spend, like, most of the day at school. So I spoke Arabic before they go to school, so they used to speak back and forth to me. But then when they went to school, they start answering my Arab in English.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:05:31] Yeah. So when you arrived here in Cleveland, what are the main difficulties that you faced?

Lena Aburaad [00:05:42] My English wasn't perfect. It wasn't bad. So I had no problem going to the doctor, going to the kids school, and communicate with other people. The most important thing is, like, away from family, especially if you have kids, you have no help. Nobody will help you with the kids. You are on your own. My husband at work, so I did everything by myself with the kids. So being away from the family was the hardest part.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:06:13] But, you know, you still in contact with your family back home, Sahaya, in.

Lena Aburaad [00:06:20] The 1990s, the technology, it wasn't like now was also expensive. So I used to call them maybe once or twice a month, and that's it. Sometimes letters, sometimes cards, when there is aid or when there is a new holiday coming. That's all.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:06:41] Yeah. But now with the technology, like you.

Lena Aburaad [00:06:44] Use now, I call them in the morning, I call them in the evening. I call them anytime.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:06:50] Yeah, that's good. So what are the main things that you're missing there? Like, you know, when you think about living near your family and a man or what are the main issues? Like you, culture is speaking culture.

Lena Aburaad [00:07:06] I miss the holidays. I miss Eid, I miss Ramadan, I miss, like, going to my mother's house and all my brothers, they come to visit, all my aunts and my uncles. I miss, like, the feeling of there's a big family in there that I don't have here, so. And you learn when you have, like, a grandma around, when you have an aunt around? So here, as a woman in the United States without a family, I have to teach all the things I learned from the big family. To my kids. Yeah. To my children.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:07:46] Yeah. And then do you have a lot of Arab friends here?

Lena Aburaad [00:07:51] It took time in the beginning, no, when I came here in 92, we had a weekend school, so I used to wait for Saturdays and Sundays to come so I can go meet people, people who can speak your language, people like you, miss your country, so you miss people like you. So I look forward for every Saturday or Sunday to go to school. And I taught for some time, but then when I had more children, I stopped teaching at Araby school. But it was fun.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:08:27] But so can you say that most of your friends here are Arabs?

Lena Aburaad [00:08:33] I have friends who born back home in Syria and Lebanon and Emirates. Or I have friends who are Arab American who born here, but they grow up here.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:08:50] Yeah, so most, most of them. So do you have like American friends?

Lena Aburaad [00:08:54] I do, I do. Especially because when you start working or when you go to school, I like people, I like to talk to people. So it doesn't matter for me if I have an American friend or I have an Arabic friend, as long as I get along with them. So the nationality wasn't an issue for me because I like to have friends from all over.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:09:22] Did you live elsewhere in United States besides Cleveland?

Lena Aburaad [00:09:26] No, I lived in Cleveland since 92.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:09:28] 92?

Lena Aburaad [00:09:29] Yeah, I visited other, other cities. So Cleveland for me become a home. I used to travel with my husband and my kids. As soon as we get back to Cleveland, I feel like, oh my gosh, the fish went back to, to the tank. Yeah, like everything I know, everything. People look familiar to me, the area, I like it.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:09:51] So you like living here?

Lena Aburaad [00:09:52] I like it, it's quiet. I live in the suburbs, so it's a nice area to raise a family. Like I told my husband all the time, if you took me to New York or to Los Angeles, I will never live that long in the US.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:10:06] Yeah, but, you know, I guess you talk to your family members or friends living elsewhere and sometimes you compare in the US. You mean like in the US, you compare Cleveland to Michigan or to other places?

Lena Aburaad [00:10:23] So my sister lives in Michigan and sometimes we get in an argument which one is best than the other, Detroit or Michigan. So she likes Michigan. I like Cleveland.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:10:34] Yeah, but you visited.

Lena Aburaad [00:10:36] Yeah, I visit there all the time.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:10:37] Yeah. So you don't like it?

Lena Aburaad [00:10:39] It's not, I hate it. You know, the connection is the people. It's not the streets, it's not the buildings. You like the area where you live. You love the street and the buildings, but the attachment, it's to the people. So when I go to Amman, it's not. I miss Amman, but if my family don't live there, I won't go. What's the point of going? So the attachment always to the people. So I go to Detroit because of my sister there and because there is a big Arab community there. So if you go on the holidays, you feel like, oh, it's aid. If you go in Ramadan, everybody is. Fasting is the same thing. So you have, you get the old feelings when you grow up in Amman, Jordan, back, so you feel fun and nice to see it in the US. That's the only reason I like to go to Detroit.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:11:31] Detroit. So you're going to Dearborn mostly or Detroit?

Lena Aburaad [00:11:35] Well, actually, my sister lives up north in Canton. It's like half an hour from Dearborn. But every time we go to her, we have to go to Dearborn where they have middle eastern restaurants with eastern shops, clothes, everything.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:11:56] Yeah, but where your sister lives now, there is no big Arab community.

Lena Aburaad [00:12:02] Actually, there's a lot of Arabs in Canton also.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:12:05] Okay.

Lena Aburaad [00:12:06] Yeah, there's a lot.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:12:10] So the other thing, I mean, there is also still big Arab community in Cleveland. Are you like, do you have still contact to the Arab community here? Like, besides friendships?

Lena Aburaad [00:12:25] I used to. Not anymore. Like the Arabic center, we used to have activities, like, we used to do dinners at the church and ask people to come educate them about the Arab culture, the Arab language. We used to do that a lot. Then I went back to school and I had the kids. I got busy. I didn't keep my contacts with the Arab community, but there's events that happen I like to attend and to be part of the big community.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:13:01] Yeah. So if I may ask, I mean, what do you think about the story of the Arabs in Cleveland? Do you think this is story of success?

Lena Aburaad [00:13:15] You can't generalize like it's a story of success. Or if a story is of a failure, there is. I know one thing about middle eastern people. They love to work. They're hard workers. They take care of their families and their children. So we saw people that they did that and they were very successful. And we saw some people, maybe a small number of them, that they didn't succeed. And I don't think just because they moved here, no, you get, they're gonna succeed whether they are in the US or in the Middle east, they didn't succeed for their own reason. So there is so many Arab stories, very successful. And a few of them they're not.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:13:59] Yeah. But on the whole, like, in general. So you think it's a story of success?

Lena Aburaad [00:14:05] Yes, yes. They bring businesses. The Arab community, Cleveland clinic is full of Arabic doctors, a lot of them from Syria, from Jordan, from Palestine, from all over the Middle East. Egyptians also. There are engineers. There are it. They'd like to learn, and they are. Some of them are very educated. Even the small community who are not educated, they may. They have businesses like they own gas stations, they own supermarkets, and they own furniture stores. So they also, like, bring value to the city, because they either businessmen or people with education, like doctors, surgeons, the engineers and so on.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:14:55] So, yeah, so they are a community here in Cleveland. You know, you have Palestinian, Lebanese, Syrian, different ethnic groups. So in your opinion, I mean, like, you know, since you are Palestinians. So do you think that the Palestinian community is different from other Arab communities?

Lena Aburaad [00:15:17] Yes. I will tell you why. We have a small Palestinian group that they came to the US 100 years ago and these people, like the time cut since 100 years ago, like, they came in the 1920s, Bethanina people, let's say so at that time, in the twenties and in the thirties, like, they didn't have that connection with them Middle east. So as a cultured chak, they kept their roots. They hung out to their roots. They kept it very strong. So you see the family, like the mother, the kids, they get married, they live together, or they speak like the village accent. In Palestine, they didn't change, even though the people of Bethanina, at Palestine, they changed with the years. But it is normal when you move to a country like now. Me, I came in 92. There is words I say, people, they used to say in the eighties and in the nineties, when I go back to Amman, my sisters will say, we stop using these words. Why are you still using them? I said, because the time stopped at 92 for me.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:16:32] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Lena Aburaad [00:16:32] It's funny.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:16:34] That's interesting. I did not know that, you know, that Palestinians came here 100 years ago.

Lena Aburaad [00:16:43] Yeah. If you ask Beth Hanina, I have some connections with them. They tell you there is some families, they came here and they came to South America in the 1920s. Or the Syrian. The Syrian, they came early.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:16:56] I know about the Syrian. The first Arabs that came to Cleveland were Syrian.

Lena Aburaad [00:17:02] I talked to an old lady. Yeah, an old Beth Hanin, a lady. And she told me that they came early a hundred years ago. Of course, in small numbers. Now they are more. But, yeah, they did.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:17:16] Yeah. Now the I mean, some people might say about, you know, the. My question whether the story of the Arabs is a story of success or failure. I mean, they say if we. We take the Arabs as individuals, each one, this is a story of success. But as a community, organized community, it's not a story of success.

Lena Aburaad [00:17:40] No, I don't agree. No, I don't agree. No. Why? We have doctors, we have surgeons, we have engineers, we have scientists and we have businessmen. They are very successful and they provide to the community. They provide to the.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:17:57] So what are the, like, society activities that the people contribute to the community? It's like activities for the entire community.

Lena Aburaad [00:18:07] Like, if you have a business and you hire people, don't you bring jobs to the area? You do bring jobs to the area. If you're a doctor, don't you provide service for the area? Yes, you do provide service for the area. So I don't see it as a fair. Your experience now?

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:18:25] Yeah, like, you know, if I want to do some activity, let's say, like in other communities, not Arabs here, that they have these clubs and organization that help, let's say, students who study at universities and colleges or different activities. Like, you know, they have some communities like the Greeks. The Greeks, they have, like, activities about their culture, like once or twice a year or Italian. So this is on the level of the communities, not like one or two. So do we have, like, examples like this?

Lena Aburaad [00:19:08] Before I come here in the end of eighties and in the beginning of the nineties, they used to have like a club for a group of people from. From Palestine. I can't remember exactly. I think from Ramallah. Ramallah. They call the city Ramallah. And the people of Ramallah, they have their own club and they used to get together, have parties together, eat together, like.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:19:37] But that's not animal.

Lena Aburaad [00:19:39] It's not anymore. But we have Bethanina center and people from Alberta, they have a club. Syrian people, they have a club also. We have the mosque and we have the church, the Coptic church. We have. We have the catholic church also for Arabs, Arab Christians. So those, they provide these services for the community of the Arabic people.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:20:08] And the other thing I, you know, of course. So Arabic culture and language is. This is very important part of your life?

Lena Aburaad [00:20:18] Yes, sure.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:20:19] So how do you maintain that? Like, you know, living in American society?

Lena Aburaad [00:20:24] I kept doing the things that my mother did when I was a kid. Like, let's say aid is coming. I know some of my friends, they send their kids to school a night, actually, for me. No, it was like. It's Eid. We get together, we stay together. We go to your aunt house, and we go to your uncle house. Like, we live in Jordan. So my kids, they love to eat because they take the day off and I buy them gifts and I take them everywhere. Ramadan, I practice Ramadan. Some of our culture is like islamic culture also. And I maintain my identity. Like, I eat the same food I ate in Jordan. I eat. I do the same thing I did there. So I didn't change. Like, you see people, they change when they come here and they want to forget all about there. Or they come here and they had the chak. Like, this is different. And they go back because they can't live with it. No, actually, I try to balance both. Like, I celebrate Christmas, I celebrate Thanksgiving, also because I want my kids to have the sense of unity with other people. Connection with other people. It's not just aid and Ramadan. And they love Eid and they love Ramadan. Why not?

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:21:51] So maybe we're coming close to the. To the end. Okay, so I want to ask you, like, you know, many parents are our parents. You know, that they have kids. You know, it's hard for them to find a balance between, you know, keeping their own culture, traditions for their kids and then be part of the American culture.

Lena Aburaad [00:22:22] That's true.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:22:23] So in your opinion, what are the best ways to deal with that?

Lena Aburaad [00:22:28] Like, to let them know that they are different and unique. And also they learn good things also from school, things that we don't learn back home. Like, back home you have to act, like, polite and nice when you're not because everybody will judge you. But here they teach the kids, like, you have to be yourself, be who you are. Don't change yourself for anyone. So if you teach them to be good people and to be active, helpful, like, my kids played sports. I didn't mind. They did everything they need to do. And they have friends from all over. They have immigrant friends and they have American friends and they have a lot of friends to have the balance between the two cultures. Yes. And they know their boundaries. They know there's things I can do and things like I don't. Like.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:23:38] Yeah, because, you know, some. Some Arab families here, like, you know, they are very strict. They are even. They are more strict than Arab living in the Middle East. I mean, you have examples.

Lena Aburaad [00:23:51] We have some. Some Arabs in the middle east. They are strict, but it's the wrong thing to do. You can't be strict to the kids. The kids are smart. They can figure out the right and the wrong. And if you put your trust in them and be friends with them, then why being strict? Give them the freedom. At the same time, give them the personality where they can't judge, what can I do or what I can't do? And happened in my case, I was successful with my kids. Like, they know what their boundaries and they know how to respect other cultures and respect their own culture. And they're not shy to speak about it and to tell their friends, like, it's okay to be different. Sometimes it's okay, like other things I can't do with you or I can't go to the bar, they don't feel shy from it.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:24:50] So your kids, like, how frequent they go visit the Middle east, like your relatives.

Lena Aburaad [00:24:59] Maybe every two, three years. When they were younger, we didn't go. We started going back in 2008. And since then, like, we go back and forth every two, three years.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:25:11] And then what do they think about these visits?

Lena Aburaad [00:25:16] The first time they went, I went with them in 98. They were little kids, and, and with four kids, traveling is very hard. So I didn't do it for a long time. When they went, they were like teenagers and they loved it. And they loved, like, they can go out. They have a big family. They have the food they like and they enjoyed it a lot. They love to go back to the grandma house, to Grandpa House where everybody is like taking care of them. Love them? Yes, very.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:25:51] Which they don't have here, like, you know, because life is different here.

Lena Aburaad [00:25:56] It's just me and them most of the time. But when we went there, they had like so much fun. They, they sensed how important family is. So my son said, oh, my gosh, we have all these cousins and we have all this big family. Why you bring us to the US? Why you didn't keep us there? I said, you want to go back? You can't go back? He said, no, I don't want to go back. But I miss all of them. I want them to be around. Yeah.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:26:24] So it's the big family, you know, to be around everyone.

Lena Aburaad [00:26:29] Amman and Jordan, specifically in the Middle east, it's like an open city. Like there's no restrictions. You go out, you party, you go to the restaurants. Women go uncovered. So they didn't feel like they are occupied or restricted there. That's why they like it.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:26:47] Yeah.

Lena Aburaad [00:26:47] Yeah.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:26:49] So, I mean, the last question I would ask you, I mean, what, how you see the Arab community here, let's say in the next ten years, I.

Lena Aburaad [00:27:01] Think they have a lot of them to do in the front. One day I talked to a lady that she works for, a senator that I don't name, but she said with other communities and also I don't know a specific one, they said when we have an issue, we find two, 3000 calls to the senator or to the governor. But the Arab community are not, they don't call like we find one, two calls if there is an issue. So I think they should like work on the big picture, work on the big community and what is best for everyone. We can't just like live each one by ourselves. We are part of this society and we are part of this culture. Then we should be more involved.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:27:51] More involved like, you know, on the.

Lena Aburaad [00:27:52] Level of the politics, other things, a lot of things.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:27:58] Like on the level of the city or the state.

Lena Aburaad [00:28:00] Yeah. I don't like about some of the Middle Eastern families that they're closed on themselves and you should reach out and talk to other people. And especially women, like with the technology now, women, they just watch the satellite. Why you should watch other things. They should open CNN, you should watch the local channels, know what's going on around you. And because of that, like I find a 60, 70 years old Middle Eastern woman that speaks English because it's either she learn it or not. But now I see young women that they come, they isolate themselves because they have the tv, the satellite, they have the phones where they communicate with the other side of the world but they lose connection with the surrounding society. And that's wrong.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:28:52] Yeah. You're completely isolated.

Lena Aburaad [00:28:54] Yeah. And that's like, that's bad. That's bad for these women.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:29:01] Yeah, you're right. And I meant, like, you know, people here, men and women, like, you know, living here for 20 years but still they act as if they're still living back home.

Lena Aburaad [00:29:13] That's wrong.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:29:14] They know the language and they don't know anything about their surroundings.

Lena Aburaad [00:29:18] I met a woman from a small city near Jerusalem called Beth Hanina. She is 65 or more and she worked with her husband. He had a convenience store. And she said, I couldn't just sit home with the kids. And she speaks very good English because that's what I think it's a matter of self, what do you want? What you gonna do? But if you are afraid to meet other people, then you are not gonna go anywhere. But if you are open to speak to other people, to communicate with other people because we don't live alone in this world, we live with other people. So if you accept others, then you're gonna be happy. And if you isolate yourself, that's not healthy at all.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:29:58] I agree with you. Okay, Lina, thank you a lot.

Lena Aburaad [00:30:02] Thank you so much. So, in Dubai, I went. I studied business administration, and I worked at an insurance company, then at National bank of Sharjah, and the office there, they speak English. I used to communicate with people, but when I came here, since we learned the british accent, it was, like, the accent kind of hard for me. So I used to go to the library, get some books to speak more English and to learn more English. I didn't have difficulty communicating, but I wanted to learn the right language. Then one day, they have this ad on tv, maybe in 92 or 93. The book was about women, their health, and other issues that are important for women. I bought the book. Maybe I understood 70% of it. So I used to open the dictionary. I didn't even have a digital dictionary, like now. It wasn't easy. And if there is something I didn't understand, I used to translate, so to understand what the book is talking about. Then when my kids went, my husband told me, you can stay home with the kids until they grow up, because I don't want my kids to go to the daycare and because maybe we were afraid just to leave them in a different environment. So I stayed with them at home. Then I went back to school. I start from Tracy. I studied first ESL. I was in the third level. Then I did some of my classes at Tri C. Then I transferred to Cleveland State for the speech and hearing. Then when I'm done with my speech and hearing degree, I applied for the master's program. When I couldn't get in, I went. I applied for the masters of education, and that's why I am able to teach Arabic at the university level.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:32:28] Yeah, but you also taught Arabic elsewhere.

Lena Aburaad [00:32:31] I taught Arabic at the Sunday school, and I taught Arabic at Berlitz. Do you know Berlitz? Yeah. So I taught at Berlitz in independence, where they teach Arabic and other languages, and it gave me a good experience.

Abedelraman Tayyara [00:32:52] So when you graduated from Cleveland State.

Lena Aburaad [00:32:57] In 2013 and I finished my masters in 2015. Yeah, it was a great. It was a great experience, because if you grew up somewhere else and your kids grew up in a different country, you should put yourself through these steps. Because I don't want my children to speak to me, and I don't know how the system works or I don't know how the colleges work. Now my kids, when they come with problems, or my children, now, when they come with a problem at college, I know how to deal with it. I know how to give them advice. If I stay at home and they don't know how the college or the school system works, then I'm not going to be able to help my students through their life as students also. So I love that experience because besides getting a job, it gives me the opportunity to help my children.